Reality Bites Me & the PLLs Bite Laws Without Tasting Punishment (Pretty Little Liars Episode 5 Recap + Broken Laws)

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This episode begins with Aria finally telling her friends about her father’s affair since evidently “A” is taking the liberty of making this information public.  The biggest confession about this affair?  Byron cheated on Ella with a woman named MEREDITH.  Immediately horrified by this news, Hanna comments that if Aria’s father is going to cheat, he should at least do it with someone who deep conditions her hair occasionally… Someone with a pretty name, like Hanna, not MEREDITH.

The girls all slept at Spencer’s house so that she wouldn’t be left unprotected from the Jungle Red lipstick ridden mirror in her bedroom.  The girls agree that they should clean up the mirror before Spencer’s parents return, but Hanna doesn’t think that it takes four liars to clean up a mirror.  The other girls are ready for combat once they hear of Hanna’s reluctance; they respond to it in what might be my favorite scene of the entire show so far.  Aria yells, “Fine, you stay down here, ALONE!”  While Emily taunts, “Make sure that you lock the door!”  I just love this scene because Aria and Emily  speak to Hanna in the same manner that I scream at my television screen weekly, in the hopes that four fictional girls will stop putting themselves in dangerous situations.  The whole “let’s split up” idea never works very well.  Heather Hogan, the editor of noticed this too, in her recap of this episode.  Glad to see I’m not the only one!

On the way upstairs to Spencer’s room, Hanna gets a text from “A,” which makes the girls delighted to have unblocked their phones.  “A” has gotten into unique cinematography techniques involving taking movies from Spencer’s closet.  The girls watch a clip that “A” filmed of them looking at the Jungle Red mirror.  When the girls get upstairs, they realize that “A” has left behind a weapon in the form of a tube of Jungle Red lipstick in Spencer’s closet.

Meanwhile at the Montgomery household, Ella and Byron are having a battle royale in the kitchen about Byron’s affair, and Mike is quickly catching on to their fighting.  He questions Aria about their parents’ behavior while she’s putting on her makeup.  He also prevents her from going to school Cyclops eye makeup style.  When Aria has makeup on both of her eyes, she warns her mother that Mike knows something is going on between her and Byron.  She lets it slip that she knew about the affair for a year and immediately sees the look of betrayal on Aria’s face.  Wanting to increase the overall honesty quotient in the Montgomery house, Aria offers to cut class and talk to Ella.

Next, Sean witnesses Hanna dropping the shoes that she wears as part of her uniform at the dental office where Sean’s mother works.  To make up for wrecking Sean’s car, Hanna has agreed to wear a hideous outfit (at least hideous looks good on her) and overcome her fear of children by giving the terrifying creatures their lollipops after their dentist appointments.  Right when Sean and Hanna decide that they should discuss potential Homecoming plans, a blonde girl who doesn’t have to wear an ugly uniform pulls up in her car that Hanna didn’t crash; she’s Sean’s ride.  Hanna hates this situation, but Sean wouldn’t need a ride had she not “damaged” his car.  He did try to take the blame for Hanna’s stunt, which is pretty badass behavior for this son-of-a-reverend.

At school, Spencer questions Jenna’s abilities to break into her house.  She’s blind; it would take a lot more than a talking GPS to break into a house.  Seriously, Wren couldn’t even find the front door when HE broke in, and he was merely drunk, not BLIND.  When the girls suggest the possibility of Toby helping Jenna, Emily attempts to get the girls to stop accusing him.  She’s met with a cruel comment from Spencer that sounds exactly like something Ali would say.  Spencer declares that maybe Jenna DID have more than a talking GPS, because Toby could have taken a break from ripping off the heads of squirrels on his porch to help Jenna on Mission Jungle Red On The Mirror.

Spencer’s history teacher approaches the girls and hands Spencer an envelope.  Although Spencer does not open the envelope, we’re to assume that its contents confirm that Spencer has won the Golden Orchid award for her talented plagiarism of Melissa’s essay.

It’s time for chemistry class, so Emily’s friends have no choice; it’s just Emily, Toby and the beaker.  These lab partners decide that Toby has more credentials to handle the beaker; Emily is tired and low on caffeine, and Toby is clearly more educated about chemistry than she is.  He already had to teach her that the “glass beaker is made of glass!”

Aria pretty much invites herself to Ezra’s short-story reading that he has later.  Hanna runs into Jenna in the elevator at the building where she’s working off debt to Sean’s family.  But what is Jenna doing there other than loudly tapping her walking stick?  Uh oh– this is not good, guys– she is applying lipstick, and it’s none other than Jungle Red.  Also, did Hanna just watch a blind girl look into a mirror?  No matter what Hanna saw, her creeping skills need work; Jenna interrupts her thoughts to announce that she knows somebody is staring at her.  “Do you like the color?” she asks.  Hanna moves back as if lipstick is the new murder weapon in town and mumbles “yes.”  We know she’s lying though; maybe that color looked good on their late friend Alison, but it doesn’t look good on bedroom mirror messages written by anonymous stalkers.

Spencer’s dad has learned that Spencer “won” the essay contest and he brought home Butter Creams as a symbol of his pride.  He invites Spencer to play tennis with him the next day; he has invited a potential client and his daughter to play doubles.

Hanna, attempting to be more discreet this time, follows Jenna to find out why she’s in the building.  She already knows that Jenna was irritated by her meddling behavior in the elevator, and since a blind person could easily be annoyed and/or alarmed by being further followed after conduct like that, I am going to say that Hanna is delving into potential broken law territory.

Potential Broken Law # 1 Alert!  Harassment (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 2709: “(a)  Offense defined.–A person commits the crime of  harassment when, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm another,  the person: … (2)  follows the other person in or about a public place or places…”

Grading.–(1)  An offense under subsection (a)(1), (2) or (3) shall constitute a summary offense.  

This probably is no big deal to Hanna– it’s not even a misdemeanor– but I’m not finished with her just yet.  

Moving on for now, in chemistry class, Emily is shocked that Toby can draw, and Toby is shocked that Emily listens to music, especially the band, Circa Survive.  They make plans to meet later on at The Grille, where Toby studies to avoid Jenna’s loud lectures at home.  

Aria attends Ezra’s short story reading where she’s surprised to meet a man who used to sleep with Ezra.  Don’t worry, Ezria fans, it was just bunk beds in college; the man is Hardy, Ezra’s roommate from college.  Hardy, Ezra and Aria play darts while Hardy tells inappropriate stories about his sexual endeavors in college and Ezra’s tendency to interrupt some of them by laughing in his sleep.  Ok, Hardy is talking about girls; Ezra’s not gay, and all is right with the world of Ezria… Except the fact that this entire short story reading and dart playing event is taking place at a bar!  Hardy points out that Ezra is going to wind up in an orange jumpsuit for dating his student, which we discussed in the entry on the Pilot episode of PLL in this blog.  That’s not the only problem here.  Depending on the situation, Aria might not even be allowed inside a bar.  Let me explain:

Potential Broken Law # 2 Alert! : 47 P.S. § 4-493(14) Pennsylvania Liquor Code: PERMITTING UNDESIRABLE PERSONS OR MINORS TO FREQUENT PREMISES (in relevant part) : Generally, minors are forbidden by Pennsylvania law to go anywhere licensed to sell liquor for on-site consumption.  However, there are exceptions to this rule.
 “Minors may only frequent licensed premises if: … (c) they are under proper supervision; (d) they are attending a social gathering; or (e) the hotel, restaurant or retail dispenser licensee has gross sales of food and nonalcoholic beverages equal to fifty per centum or more of its combined gross sale of both food and alcoholic beverages. If a minor is frequenting a hotel, restaurant or retail dispenser licensee under subsection (e), then the minor may not sit at the bar section of the premises, nor may any alcoholic beverages be served at the table or booth at which the said minor is seated unless said minor is with a parent, legal guardian or under proper supervision. Further, if a hotel, restaurant, club liquor licensee or retail dispenser is hosting a social gathering under subsection (d), then written notice at least forty-eight hours in advance of such gathering shall be given to the Bureau of Enforcement.”  

We could attempt to absolve Aria under subsection (c), but “Section 102 of the Liquor Code defines proper supervision as someone who is at least twenty-five (25) years of age, who is directly responsible for the care and conduct of the minor while on the premises, and who keeps the minor within his or her sight or hearing… [47 P.S. § 1-102].”  

Aria just met Hardy, so if he IS 25 years old (I am not sure if he and Ezra have turned 25 or if they’re 24 years old), he did not go there with the intent of being Aria’s supervisor, and neither did Ezra; she wasn’t constantly within his direct sight or hearing, because he was giving a speech to an entire audience and hadn’t even noticed that Aria and Hardy had met until after his performance. 

The social gathering exception has too many conditions to apply to Aria as well : “no alcoholic beverages may be sold, given, furnished to or consumed by any minor, and the area of the gathering must be segregated from the remainder of the licensed premises, or all alcoholic beverages must be removed from the licensed premises or placed under lock and key during the time the gathering takes place.”

I’d say that her best best here is subsection (e), because Aria wasn’t seated in the bar area, which the Pennsylvania code considers the seating directly adjacent to the serving bar.  Additionally, Hardy wasn’t served his beer while sitting at the table with Aria; he left the area when he ordered it and he didn’t sit down when he was drinking it.  

She’d be more screwed had she been sitting in the bar area, because under Pennsylvania’s liquor code, “minors may sit at the bar or in the bar area if they are with their parent, legal guardian, under proper supervision or are attending a social gathering.”  If she’s not breaking the law, it’s because of subsection (e), and it’s still a close call here.  

The next scene features Spencer practicing tennis for what she refers to as “a friendly game of doubles.”  Alex (Diego Boneta), an employee at the club where Spencer is playing argues that her serve is NOT friendly, and I agree.  Keep that girl away from me in gym class!  

At Hanna’s house, she stalks Sean’s blonde chauffeur online, and Ashley sympathizes with her.  She feels badly that Hanna doesn’t have her own car to give Sean rides in, and suggests that she talk to her father about it.  Because Hanna should really be rewarded with a new car after crashing her maybe-now-ex-boyfriend’s car.  Hanna informs Ashley that her father is engaged now and probably saving up to by her soon-to-be stepsister a car instead.  “A” decides that now is the perfect time to send Hanna a picture of Emily and Maya kissing.  

Spencer and Hanna go to The Grille to discuss Hanna’s “incident” with Jenna earlier in the day.  Emily shows up to meet Toby, but she’s too scared to be seen with him in front of her friends, so she ditches him and sits with Spencer and Hanna to discuss Jenna and her lipstick adventures.  

Ezra makes snappy remarks to Aria that perhaps she’ll understand college boys better when she actually goes to college for herself.  Aria somehow talks him out of thinking that their age difference is a problem.  

Toby gives a waitress a CD, complete with a beautiful drawing on the cover, to give to Emily.  Hanna notices it, and after her recent message from “A,” likely assumes that it is from Maya.  Hanna encourages Emily to go after a relationship if there’s someone she likes.  While this is happening, Ezria makes out at Ezra’s apartment, and the scene is filled with perfection.  Andrew Belle is even playing in the background as we’re taken from the Ezria kiss to Emily hugging her CD from Toby in bed.  

The following day, Spencer’s father tells her to be friendly on the court, because it turns out his potential client and daughter “aren’t exactly Venus and Serena.”  He wants her to purposely lose the match as a “means to an end” so that he makes money off of this rich man who lacks tennis skill.  Alex observes the match and can tell that Spencer is off of her game.  

Hanna returns to her favorite workplace, this time without her uniform.  She’s off-duty and there to figure out exactly what Jenna was doing in the building.  She goes to the room, where she’s learned from yesterday’s spying, that Jenna was inside for an hour.  It’s a doctor’s office, and Hanna wants to know what type of doctor.  Conveniently, the (creepy) doctor comes out and assumes Hanna is a new patient that he’s expecting named Martha.  Hanna knows better than to correct him, so she plays along and pretends to be Martha.  As Martha, she’s able to obtain the appropriate paperwork to learn that Jenna’s doctor is a psychotherapist.  She bolts, but it might be a little late for that.

Broken Law # 3 Alert! : We have already asserted above that Hanna is likely guilty of the summary offense of harassment.  However, as usual, there’s more to the story: 
Ethnic intimidation – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 2710 (in relevant part): “(a)  Offense defined.–A person commits the offense of ethnic intimidation if, with malicious intention toward the actual or perceived… physical disability… he commits an offense under any other provision of this article or… or under section 3503 (relating to criminal trespass) with respect to such individual or his or her property.”  
 (b)  Grading.–An offense under this section shall be classified as a misdemeanor of the third degree if the other offense is classified as a summary offense. 

This applies to Hanna, because as stated above, ethnic intimidation applies to offenses including criminal trespass, a crime we discussed at length in the entry on “The Jenna Thing,” that also happens to be the next broken law in this episode.  

Broken Law # 4 Alert!: Criminal trespass – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3503 (in relevant part) :  (a)  Buildings and occupied structures.–  (1)  A person commits an offense if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged to do so, he: (i)  enters, gains entry by subterfuge or surreptitiously remains in any building or occupied structure or separately secured or occupied portion thereof. (2)  An offense under paragraph (1)(i) is a felony of the third degree.  

That’s more like it; Hanna is more of a misdemeanor and felony girl than a summary offense girl.  At least she got out of there quickly; that therapist scared me.  I’d have probably left there with more problems than I had originally if he was my doctor.  

At Aria’s house, Aria attempts to console her brother Mike, who is furious about Hurricane Montgomery, which is still going on in the family kitchen.  While comforting him, she continues to hide the truth that she already knows about their parents’ situation.  I’m sure that won’t come back to bite her in the ass like all of the other lies in this show.  

After Peter Hastings and Spencer lose the tennis match on purpose, he gleefully whispers “mission accomplished!” to a pissed off Spencer.  Alex witnessed the entire match and knows Spencer wasn’t doing her best.  He calls her out on her weak game and she uses a different kind of game to ASK him OUT.  

Ashley Marin reveals her internet stalking skills by stalking her ex husband’s new fiance online.  Unfortunately for Ezria, the Andrew Belle perfection has come to a close, and when Aria shows up at Ezra’s to cook dinner and see if she left her phone at his apartment, she gets her phone, but Ezra doesn’t want her, her phone or her food in his apartment.  “A” texted Aria’s phone while it was at Ezra’s apartment, and when he couldn’t take the buzzing noise anymore, he read it, only to find a snarky remark about Aria’s luck– most students only do her homework, but she gets to do the teacher too!  Ezra refuses to listen to Aria as she insists she hasn’t told anyone about their relationship, but he thinks that if “A” knows, then “B” and “C” and everybody else does too, so he kicks Aria out.  Whatever, someone does NOT get his enhanced macaroni and cheese now.  His loss. 

Hanna learns that Sean has joined a virginity club at school and wants to go to a meeting with him.  This should be interesting; I personally can’t wait to see how much fun the “Real Love Waits” club is.  Spencer’s father wants to celebrate Spencer’s award AND his new client.  He tells Spencer that the deal almost didn’t go through, because not only is his new client not Serena Williams, but he was also expecting lunch after the friendly tennis match, and Peter hadn’t made reservations.  He explains that they were only able to get a table (his favorite table) after he lied to the manager and said that Alex forgot to call in the reservation.  He elaborates on his insensitivity when he blatantly says that he doesn’t care if Alex got fired because of this move; he can pick up balls anywhere.  Spencer flips out and confesses to stealing her award-winning essay.  Peter has just confessed to:

Broken Law # 5 Alert! : This one is a tort (a civil wrong), so he can’t go to criminal court for this, but he can get sued.  Pennsylvania follows the 2nd Restatement of Torts in regards to its laws on slander.  Section 570 (Restatement (2d) of Torts, § 570) discusses “slander per se,” or “liability without proof of special harm slander.”  Under the 2nd restatement, “One who publishes matter defamatory to another in such a manner as to make the publication a slander is subject to liability to the other although no special harm results if the publication imputes to the other… (c) matter incompatible with his business, trade, profession, or office, as stated in § 573…” Under section 573 (Restatement (Second) of Torts § 573) :  “One who publishes a slander that ascribes to another conduct, characteristics or a condition that would adversely affect his fitness for the proper conduct of his lawful business, trade or profession, is subject to liability without proof of special harm.”  

The restatement describes a defamatory statement as one that “tends so to harm the reputation of another as to lower him in the estimation of the community or to deter third persons from associating or dealing with him.” (Restatement (Second) of Torts § 559).  

It must be a statement that a reasonable audience would know was about the plaintiff, and here, Mr. Hastings was pretty obvious about who he was talking about when he reported Alex to his manager for something he didn’t do.  Additionally, while “published” seems like it might require more than one person to hear the statement, the requirement is actually a lot smaller than it seems.  Only one person other than the speaker and the person about which he is speaking must hear the defamatory remark, and here, the manager is a sufficient enough audience for Peter’s statement to be considered “published.”  The statement also does not have to be in writing to constitute defamation; there are two different types of defamation.  Libel is written defamation, and slander is spoken defamation.  

In my opinion, Peter’s statement to Alex’s manager falls into the business category for slander per se, meaning that Alex wouldn’t need to prove any special damages (specific economic loss as a result of the defamation).  However, even if it didn’t fall into one of those categories, (slander that does not fall into a per-se category requires proof of special damages), if Alex were to lose his job, he’d likely have a case for regular slander as well.


For a lawyer, Mr. Hastings certainly doesn’t seem to mind breaking the law to gain himself more clients.  

The brief happy ending (they never last too long in Rosewood) consists of Emily apologizing to Toby for her rude behavior and giving him a CD that she burned for him.  Who does Emily like now?  Maya or Toby?  I guess we’ll have to find out next time!  For now, thanks for reading about the pristine behavior of our favorite characters on Pretty Little Liars!  

The Jenna Thing or The Euphemism of the Century (Pretty Little Liars Episode 2 Recap + Laws)

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This episode of Pretty Little Liars starts off with the girls having a paranoid conversation at the Apple Rose Grille.  Hanna is so worried that it’s driving her to drink… in public… out of her flask…again.  It’s only the second episode of the series, Hanna, you don’t want to be hungover before episode 3!  Oh and by the way, this leads into our first potentially broken law of the episode.  ALREADY, within 2 minutes of the episode starting.
(Potentially) Broken Law #1 Alert!: While Hanna wasn’t displaying completely obvious signs of being wasted, she had her flask out in the open long enough for a grumpy old man to notice and glare at her, so I’m including this.  Knowing how much the cops love her in this town already, they’d probably arrest her for the following crime, unless her mother ups her game in the bedroom: Public drunkenness and similar misconduct – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 5505:   A person is guilty of a summary offense if he appears in any public place manifestly under the influence of alcohol.  Of course there is also zero tolerance for minors drinking underage. 

I would say that the girls should have a drinking game where each girl takes a shot when they commit a crime in Rosewood, and 2 shots if it’s within the beginning of the episode, but as I just explained, that would be promoting illegal behavior.

Moving on, the girls discuss Ali and her knowledge of everybody’s secrets.  They frantically whisper about the elusive Jenna “THING,” and we (at least those of us who have not read the books or searched online) want to know what the hell it is already!  We have been curious ever since the infamous flashback fight between Ali and Spencer in the previous episode.  These girls are in high school; what the hell could they have done?  Did they copy Jenna’s math homework?  Right when we think we’re about to find out what the Jenna “thing” is, BOOM!  We are interrupted by the loud sound of Jenna (Tammin Sursok) herself, smacking the floor with her walking stick as if she owns the place and wants to kill everyone inside.  The girls cannot stay and chat now!  Not with JENNA here.  Not after the THING that happened with her.  So all four of the girls leave and go in separate directions leaving us even more curious about the “thing” that they did.

Next, Hanna sees Wilden, our favorite police officer, on TV casually discussing her best friend’s death. There was blunt force trauma, but the actual cause of death was suffocation–then Hanna’s mother turns off the TV while her officer-with-benefits is mid-sentence.  Hanna and her mother have a short conversation that can pretty much be summarized this way:
Hanna: “sorry that you had to sleep with a cop to get me out of stealing sunglasses.”  Ashley: “I like your Amber Rose lipstick.”

Speaking of Hanna’s makeup, we move on to Aria and her mother gossiping about Hanna’s funeral dress.  She definitely didn’t get it at curvy girl!  Aria wants to chop her father’s head off because he says he might be home late from work “catching up on things” or screwing a certain former student.

Maya shows up at Emily’s house and lunges for Emily’s coffee; she hasn’t been getting much sleep because she doesn’t like living in a dead girl’s bedroom and looking out the window at her backyard AKA shrine to Alison DiLaurentis.  Emily’s mother eagerly invites Maya to spend a few nights sleeping in Emily’s room.  The girls are so excited for their upcoming sleepover.  Let’s just hope this sleepover is better than the one Emily had with Alison last summer.

Emily and Maya approach Spencer, who is further screwing up her bursa sac by fiercely practicing for field hockey.  Spencer would kill for a latte, but this is her only time to practice.  She’s got a shot at becoming team captain, and when a Hastings has a shot she takes a shot.  Maya immediately assumes that the Hastings taking a shot thing is a drinking game.  Spencer agrees that it should be.  These young girls sure do love their alcohol!

Aria wants to transfer out of Ezra’s — Mr. Fitz’s– class.  While he claims that he can keep his feelings in check, she cannot, and she does not want to sit in his classroom and call him “Mr. Fitz” every day.  He reluctantly agrees to sign her form to switch classes.

Ben (Steven Krueger) already seems like the creepiest boyfriend in the world.  He pretty much accosts Emily in the hallway.  If that is his idea of a loving kiss, I would hate to see him get angry.

All four girls are called into the principal’s office over the loudspeaker.  While the girls head over, Aria receives a text from “A,” that says “dead girls walking.”  That sounds promising.  The girls are probably wondering if they have detention or something, but, no.  They go to the office to find Detective Wilden there instead of the school principal.  He questions the girls about Ali’s disappearance and does not believe one word out of any of their mouths.

In the cafeteria, the girls guiltily discuss their lies to the cops.  Hanna takes on a nonchalant attitude.  Lying is not a crime and it was just DRINKING, guys.  The other girls remind her that they also didn’t tell the police about the Jenna THING and that they could have stopped Ali from doing the Jenna THING.  WHAT THING?!?!  Spencer also gives Hanna:

Crime # 2 Alert!: “Lying to the POLICE is a crime.  It’s called obstruction of justice,” she explains.
Hindering apprehension or prosecution (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 5105(a)(5): “A person commits an offense if, with intent to hinder the apprehension, prosecution, conviction or punishment of another for crime or violation…he  provides false information to a law enforcement officer.”  
“The offense is a felony of the third degree if the conduct which the actor knows has been charged or is liable to be charged against the person aided would constitute a felony of the first or second degree. Otherwise it is a misdemeanor of the second degree.”

Not a good look, girls.

In walks Jenna, once again interrupting our chance to find out what exactly the Jenna THING is.  Aria invites her to sit with them for the most awkward lunch in the entire world.  Jenna notices that the girls’ odd behavior and comments that they used to be the fun table.  FINALLY, we see a flashback to the night of the Jenna thing.  The girls were hanging out at Emily’s house changing into all sorts of different outfits when Ali screamed and claimed that she saw that creep, Toby Cavanaugh (Keegan Allen) in the bushes spying on them.  Toby is Jenna’s stepbrother, and Ali decided that the girls should teach him a lesson instead of calling the police.  Apparently, Ali’s idea of teaching somebody a lesson is lighting a stink bomb and throwing it into somebody’s house.  Although the other girls are reluctant, eventually they all agree to help Ali with this plan.  The stink bomb Ali ignites and tosses into Jenna’s house somehow leads to Jenna’s entire garage going on fire.  As if “A” knows that this flashback is going on at this very moment, all 4 girls receive a polite reminder that they caused Jenna to go blind.  “If only she could see how guilty you all look. –A.”  “A” is correct; the girls are guilty of a myriad of potential crimes.

Crime # 3 Alert! There are a few possible crimes that the girls could be guilty of based upon the flashback that we finally got to see.  Let’s start with the basics.  Criminal trespass (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3503(b)(1)(ii): “A person commits an offense if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged to do so, he enters or remains in any place for the purpose of: starting or causing to be started any fire upon the premises.” 

That’s not all, but the girls are 100% guilty of that crime.  What else?

Crime # 4 Alert!: Criminal mischief (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3304(a)(1) “A person is guilty of criminal mischief if he:  damages tangible property of another intentionally, recklessly, or by negligence in the employment of fire, explosives, or other dangerous means…”  

Guilty as charged, again.

But wait, there’s more!  

Crime #5 Alert!  The Jenna Thing could possibly render the girls, especially the late Alison DiLaurentis, guilty of: Causing or risking catastrophe (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3302(a): A person who causes a catastrophe by explosion, fire…, or by any other means of causing potentially widespread injury or damage…commits a felony of the first degree if he does so intentionally or knowingly, or a felony of the second degree if he does so recklessly.”  Giving Ali the benefit of the doubt and assuming that this was indeed reckless and an accident, the crime would be a felony in the 2nd degree.

Next up,

Crime # 6 Alert! This one goes out to the girls besides Alison.  After all, remember, they did nothing to stop her.  Failure to prevent catastrophe (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3303(2)   A person who knowingly or recklessly fails to take reasonable measures to prevent or mitigate a catastrophe, when he can do so without substantial risk to himself, commits a misdemeanor of the second degree if:  he did or assented to the act causing or threatening the catastrophe.”

Excellent work, girls.  

Crime # 7 Alert!  This one depends on whether one would determine that Alison deliberately started a fire/caused an explosion.  It’s possible one would find this way because she DID purposely light the stink bomb on fire and throw it in the house.  Some might consider that intent to cause a fire or start an explosion.   Arson and related offenses – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3301(c)(1): Arson Endangering Property (in relevant part): A person commits a felony of the second degree if he intentionally starts a fire or causes an explosion, whether on his own property or that of another… and if: (2): he thereby recklessly places an inhabited building or occupied structure of another in danger of damage or destruction.  

The reason I think the girls could get nailed for that one is because the only part that needs to be intentional is the starting a fire or causing an explosion.  Part 2 only requires recklessness. 

Either way, there is even more.

Crime # 8 Alert!  Arson and related offenses – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3301(d.1) Dangerous Burning:” A person commits a summary offense if he intentionally or recklessly starts a fire to endanger any person or property of another whether or not any damage to person or property actually occurs.”

You guessed it, I’m still not finished.

Crime # 9 Alert! Recklessly endangering another person – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 2705: “A person commits a misdemeanor of the second degree if he recklessly engages in conduct which places or may place another person in danger of death or serious bodily injury.”  Ali claimed that she did not know anybody was inside the house, but she clearly wasn’t 100% sure of this, since it turns out Toby and Jenna were both inside.  This crime requires RECKLESSLY putting someone at risk of death or serious bodily injury, and what Alison did counts.  

Next up, 

Crime # 10 Alert! Aggravated Assault (in relevant part)- 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 2702(a)(1): “A person is guilty of aggravated assault if he:attempts to cause serious bodily injury to another, or causes such injury intentionally, knowingly or recklessly under circumstances manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life;

(b)  Grading.–“Aggravated assault under subsection (a)(1)… is a felony of the first degree.”

In regards to any of the above crimes that were INTENTIONAL:

Crime # 11 Alert!: Criminal conspiracy (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 903 (a) “A person is guilty of conspiracy with another person or persons to commit a crime if with the intent of promoting or facilitating its commission he: (1)  agrees with such other person or persons that they or one or more of them will engage in conduct which constitutes such crime or an attempt or solicitation to commit such crime; or (2)  agrees to aid such other person or persons in the planning or commission of such crime or of an attempt or solicitation to commit such crime.”

In Pennsylvania, conspiracy does not merge into the completed crime, so while the girls’ crimes were successfully completed, they are guilty of conspiracy as a separate offense.

Even though Alison is the one who did the dirty work, the girls were accomplices according to Pennsylvania law:

Liability for conduct of another; complicity (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 306(c)(1)(ii): A person is an accomplice of another person in the commission of an offense if: with the intent of promoting or facilitating the commission of the offense, he: aids or agrees or attempts to aid such other person in planning or committing it…”

And yes, accomplices get in trouble: 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 306 (d) Culpability of accomplice.–“When causing a particular result is an element of an offense, an accomplice in the conduct causing such result is an accomplice… of that offense, if he acts with the kind of culpability, if any, with respect to that result that is sufficient for the commission of the offense.”

AND, even though Ali is dead now and never got in trouble for “The Jenna Thing,” if the statute of limitations has not run (in Pennsylvania, major felonies usually have a statute of limitations of 5 years, lesser felonies and misdemeanors usually have a statute of limitations of 2 years and summary offenses have a statute of limitations of 30 days (42 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 5551-5554)), the other four girls can STILL get in trouble for conspiracy.  

18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 306 (g): Prosecution of accomplice only (in relevant part)–“An accomplice may be convicted on proof of the commission of the offense and of his complicity therein, though the person claimed to have committed the offense has not been prosecuted or convicted.”  

WHOA.  I need to take a deep breath after all of that.  There has got to be a better way to describe what the girls did to Jenna than “The Jenna Thing,” but I guess that euphemism helps them sleep better at night.

Moving back to the actual episode, after the awkward lunch with Jenna, we learn that Aria is not the only person who doesn’t want to sit in Ezra’s class and call him Mr. Fitz.  Mona walks into English class late and apologizes to the teacher, “Mr. Fritz,” which causes the class to laugh at her.  Yes, amidst to all of the craziness, this show does still have some moments of light humor.  Aria walks into the room and places her transfer form on Ezra’s desk.  It has the word “DECLINED” stamped on it in huge letters.  This is going to get interesting.  Despite Aria’s attempt to do the right thing, we are heading into a full on student-teacher relationship!

After school, during a study date, Hanna has tries to jump her virgin, son of a preacher, boyfriend, Sean (Chuck Hittinger).  Wilden comes over armed with Thai takeout.  Uh oh, Wilden and Ashley’s relationship must be getting serious if he’s already bringing Thai food.  Hanna’s meals certainly have been awkward and filled with unwanted guests throughout this episode.

Spencer is in for an interesting dinner herself.  Before Melissa and Wren arrive, she tells her father, Peter Hastings (Nolan North) that she plans on taking a class at Hollis college for fun.  Her father laughs at her because learning for fun is pointless in his eyes.  Melissa and Wren arrive, as does their waiter to take drink orders.  Spencer tries to order a vodka soda and is quickly interrupted by her appalled older sister who tells the waiter that Spencer was only kidding.  The joke is on Melissa though, because her fiance really does order a vodka soda and discreetly shares it with Spencer during the weird game of “High-Low” that the Hastings family plays at the dinner table.  The game pretty much consists of everyone bragging and competing to see who has the most impressive life.  Melissa talks about a boring school achievement, Peter talks about a boring work achievement, Spencer can’t think of anything, and Wren found a brilliant parking space right in front of the chem lab.  The bragging interaction between Melissa and her father is so nauseating that it almost seems like there is disgusting father-daughter flirting in the air.

At night, Emily and Maya share an affinity for sleeping in the middle of the bed, and “A” texts Emily to ask if she got a goodnight kiss.  The following morning, back at the Marin household, we find out that to Hanna’s dismay, Wilden spent the night and Ashley is pretending to be a breakfast-eating egg chef.

Ben drives Emily and Maya to school and behaves like a complete creep during the entire car ride.  Emily doesn’t want to be a lesbian, so she decides that the remedy is a very passionate and very public make out session with her weird boyfriend.

Ezra meets Aria’s mother.  Wow, this relationship is moving quickly!  No, actually, he runs into Aria and Ella at the movie theater.  Of course, they all came to see the same movie, and of course, Ella invites Ezra to sit with them in the theater!  Ezra and Aria are mortified, and a blissfully unaware Ella watches the movie with her daughter and the English teacher that Ella has deemed “really cute.”  I hope Byron doesn’t start cheating again, otherwise Ella might start flirting with her daughter’s secret boyfriend.

Emily cries in her room that night and tells her mom that she thinks something is wrong with her.  Meanwhile, Spencer’s Latin study session is interrupted by Wren, who shows off the one Latin phrase that he knows, “up yours.”  Then, they start making out.  That’s not inappropriate or anything.  Melissa may be a bitch, but who hooks up with their sister’s fiance?  Not cool, Spence.  Melissa catches them, and the next morning Wren is packing his bags and leaving the loft that he and Melissa stole from Spencer.

Wilden creeps on Hanna and Mona at the mall.  He thinks that Hanna and her friends know who killed Ali, and Hanna’s mom may be hot, but she’s not hot enough to make THAT go away.  Ew. The mood quickly turns romantic though, because it’s raining outside and pouring rain makes everything romantic.  And what do you know?  Aria is walking around drenched and Ezra just happens to drive by right in time to offer her a ride.  Obviously they start making out in his car.  Pouring rain is officially Ezria’s thing now, and Aria is going to get an “A” in English.

Emily has a flashback to Ali giving all of the girls friendship bracelets and secretly taunting Emily for being a lesbian.  Aria goes home, and father-of-the-year, Byron Montgomery tells her that sometimes the truth does more harm than good.  Excellent parenting.  Aria decides to finally spend some time with her family.  All is right with the world for two seconds before “A” texts her that when students kiss teachers, people get hurt.  Damn it, “A,” why do you care if Aria makes out with her teacher?  What difference does it make in your life?

Spencer goes for a run and is horrified to learn that even though Jenna is blind, technology gives her the ability to send text messages.  #FirstWorldProblems.  Is there another Jenna thing that the girls don’t know about?  I guess we’ll have to stay tuned!

Pretty Little Pilot Investigation

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The Pilot episode of Pretty Little Liars begins with five girls having the worst slumber party in the history of sleepovers worldwide.  Seriously, do not have sleepovers in the fictional town, Rosewood, Pennsylvania.  Only four of them have arrived at this end of the summer shindig, when Spencer Hastings (Troian Bellisario), Hanna Marin (Ashley Benson), Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale), and Emily Fields (Shay Mitchell) hear a spooky noise outside of Spencer’s barn, the scene of the sleepover and the first crime of the series.  The girls exchange frightened whispers, unsure if the noise is coming from the ominous storm outside or the boogeyman.  “Gotcha!” Alison DiLaurentis (Sasha Pieterse) interrupts the other four girls’ thoughts while simultaneously scaring the crap out of them.  Spencer shrieks that the joke was not funny, but Alison declares it hilarious, and clearly whatever Alison says goes.

Alison passes Aria an alcoholic beverage and Spencer jokingly warns her that if she drinks too much, she’ll tell the girls all of her secrets.  “Friends share secrets; that’s what keeps us close,” Alison quickly schools Spencer on friendship.  Aria proceeds to drink, and the girls (at least Aria, Hanna and Emily for sure) pass out.  It must have been a pretty strong drink, so lucky for Passed Out Aria, she cannot blurt out her secrets to her unconscious friends.  When Hanna, Aria and Emily wake up, Alison and Spencer are gone.  Spencer walks in and informs the other girls that Alison is missing, she has looked everywhere and she thinks that she heard a scream.

First Broken Law Alert!  During the sleepover, the girls violated a law that many high school students ignore.  They broke Pennsylvania’s law against underage drinking.  The actual law that was broken in relevant part: 18 Pa.C.S.A. § 6308 (a) A person has violated the law against underage drinking if she is under 21 years old, attempts to purchase, consumes, possesses OR knowingly or intentionally transports any liquor or malt beverages…For a first offense, this is a “summary offense,” the lowest level of crime in Pennsylvania.
Penalties: Fine of up to $500.00, but the maximum fine for a first offense is $300, License Suspension of 90 days (1st offense) (an occupational limited license may be available for a first offense). 

Good thing the girls didn’t get caught!

The next scene takes place a year after the aforementioned sleepover of doom.  Newspapers scattered all over Rosewood display an article about Ali and how she’s still missing.  Aria’s family has just returned to Rosewood after spending a year in Iceland for Aria’s father, Byron’s (Chad Lowe), sabbatical.  Aria talks to her mother, Ella (Holly Marie Combs) about how the media is treating Ali’s disappearance like a party. Aria doesn’t appreciate this, and it doesn’t sound like a “party” that I’d like to attend either, unless the DJ makes a really good remix of the PLL theme song by The Pierces.  Aria and her mother are abruptly interrupted when Aria’s brother Mike (Cody Christian) bursts into the room freaking out about needing a ride to lacrosse once he gets his lacrosse equipment out of the 100 boxes they’re currently in.  Aria offers to drive Mike to lacrosse, and before she leaves, she promises her father that she is still keeping his secret.  Good old suspense.

Aria drops Mike off for lacrosse tryouts and heads to a bar and grill to get food.  She gets more than food there; a guy sitting at the bar notices that she looks upset and he initiates a conversation.  He is Ezra Fitz (Ian Harding) and he asks Aria if she’s ok.  She tells him that she has jet lag because she just got back from Iceland; Ezra responds that he’s been to Iceland before on his way to Amsterdam.  Aria asks him if he goes to the local college, Hollis; Ezra just graduated from Hollis and is about to start his first teaching job.  Aria informs him that she’d like to teach and loves to write, and when Ezra inquires about her major, she claims that she’s “leaning towards English.”  Funny, I didn’t know you could become an English major in high school, but then, this show IS called Pretty Little LIARS.  And wouldn’t you know it, Ezra’s first teaching job is for an English class. Then a song that Aria loves starts playing; it’s by B26 as Ezra points out.  Can’t you already feel the burning passion between them?  So begins what is widely known on the media as “Ezria.”

Let’s see what we know so far about these two: They both love to write, they both like the song playing at the bar, and they have both been to Europe.  BOOM.  Ezra wants to read some of Aria’s writing because she’s smart, has traveled and has a great taste in music.”  When Ezra tells Aria that he’d like to know more about her, the two decide that a great way to achieve that is to rush to the bar’s bathroom and start making out on the sink.  How cute!  Impressive moves there Aria, a random hookup on your first day back in America.

Legal Comment: Good news for Ezria fans! If the two of them have sex, it is NOT illegal in Pennsylvania because the age of consent there is 16 years old.

Next, we leave the bar and go to the Rosewood Mall, where Hanna appears to be shopping with her best friend, Mona Vanderwaal (Janel Parrish).  It turns out the two girls are shoplifting, not shopping.  Hanna tries on a pair of sunglasses, boasting to Mona that they cost “free-50.”  She walks over to a different part of the mall (sunglasses still on top of her head) to briefly talk to Spencer, who is shopping for an outfit for when she meets her older sister, Melissa’s (Torrey DeVitto) new fiance.  He’s a medical student and everyone is thrilled.  Hanna scoffs at the outfit Spencer has chosen and puts it back on the rack.  She gives Spencer an outfit to wear that is obviously better than the occasion, they talk about Ali for 2 seconds, then she returns to Mona.  The salesman that allowed her to try the sunglasses on does not notice that the expensive shades are STILL ON HANNA’S HEAD, and Mona walks off with a scarf and without taking her wallet out of her purse.  As Hanna heads towards the mall’s exit, a security guard chases her down.  She waits with bated breath for him to rip the sunglasses off of her head and call the cops, but instead he politely returns the purse that Hanna had not realized that she left at the mall.  Mona “SO thought Hanna was busted.”

Second Broken Crime Alert! During their shopping spree, Hanna and Mona violated Pennsylvania’s law against retail theft.  The actual law that was broken in relevant part: 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3929 (a)  A person is guilty of a retail theft if she (1) “takes possession of, carries away, transfers or caused to be carried away or transferred, any merchandise displayed, held, stored, or offered for sale by any store… with the intention of depriving the merchant of the possession, use or benefit of such merchandise without paying the full retail value thereof.”  For our purpose here, I’m going to assume Hanna’s “free 50” remark was a pun about the glasses costing $300.00.  This means that Hanna’s retail theft is a misdemeanor in the first degree, defined as “when the

 offense is a first or second offense and the value of the merchandise is $150 or more.” 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3929 (b)(1)(ii).  The level of Mona’s offense depends on the value of her scarf.  

Hanna and Mona had better watch out; they wouldn’t appreciate getting into trouble of this kind.  

Next, Aria gets a ride to school from her dad who brings up the secret she’s keeping for him again.  Aria doesn’t want to be late for class, but before she goes, we see a flashback cluing us into this secret.  In Aria’s flashback, we see Mona (who at the time was a huge dork) chasing after Aria and Ali.  Ali leads Aria into an alley to avoid dorky Mona who needs to get a clue.  Of course this isn’t just any alley; it’s the alley where Aria’s father has parked his car to make out with a blonde girl who is definitely not Aria’s mother.  Ok, NOW it’s time to go to class.  Back in real time, Emily finds Aria.  They talk about how Aria no longer has a pink streak in her hair.  They also discuss the infamous newspaper with Ali on the cover; Emily comments that everyone knows that Ali is dead, and Aria is shocked to hear somebody say that out loud.  The two girls walk to class together and Emily gossips that she heard the new English teacher is really hot.  She and Aria briefly discuss that their old group of friends has lost touch, Hanna is now the “it girl”, and as Emily explains, “when there’s Hanna, there’s Mona.”  “Talk about a makeover,” a shocked Aria murmurs when she realizes Mona has ditched her sweaters for a more glamourous look.  

In walks the hot new English teacher, who also happens to be the guy Aria made out with at the bar.  Aria has nothing to worry about though, because Ezra, or Mr. Fitz, rather, is a professional and he’ll obviously be discreet.  “Holy crap,” he utters his first words to his students while he blatantly stares at Aria.  Way to make it completely awkward!  Now the whole class knows something bizarre is going on which means more drama and secrets for Aria.  A beep interrupts the awkward silence as Aria receives a strange text message signed by somebody named “A.”  The message contains an obnoxious quip that maybe Ezra fools around with all of his students and that Aria should just ask her father about it.  Somebody knows!  A confused Aria whispers, “Ali?”  Only Ali knew about her dad’s affair, right?  Who sent that creepy text message?!

Legal comment:  In Pennsylvania, adultery is not a crime, so Byron has not done anything illegal; he’s just a dirtbag. 

After school, Emily talks with her mom, Pam Fields (Nia Peeples) about the new family that bought the DiLaurentis house.  Aria gets brought up in the conversation, and Mrs. Fields bashes on her family.  She doesn’t understand how Aria’s parents could let her walk around with pink hair, behavior that she deems ok in Europe but not Rosewood.  Aria’s parents must just be terrible people.  

Emily brings a welcome basket for the new family that moved into Ali’s old house.  There, she meets Maya, a hyper girl with wild hair who wants to become Emily’s friend, NOW.  Maya asks a ton of questions as her method to get to know Emily.  That’s how she finds out that Emily and three other girls used to be very close friends with Ali, Emily is a swimmer and has a swimmer boyfriend named Ben.  Maya bets Emily is a great swimmer; she totally has the body for it, after all.  Maya wonders if Emily will kill her if she smokes some weed, since Emily is such a jock.  Emily looks shocked but promises not to murder Maya.  Maya even persuades Emily to try smoking weed for the first time.  Maybe Emily should dye her hair pink and move to Europe, too.  

Third Broken Law Alert!  Pennsylvania has a separate law against “possession of a small amount of marijuana,” which Maya and Emily broke while bonding and getting high.  The actual law: 35 P.S. § 780-113(a)(31), defines possession of a “small amount” of marijuana to include: “the possession of a small amount of marijuana only for personal use; the possession of a small amount of marijuana with the intent to distribute it, but not to sell it; or the distribution of a small amount of marijuana, but not for sale” This law considers 30 grams of marijuana to be a “small amount,” and I’m going to assume Maya did not have more than that.  Penalty: Misdemeanor, up to 30 days in jail, maximum $500 fine, or both. 

Good thing Maya didn’t make Emily pay for the weed; then she would have been in more trouble.  That is, if either of the girls got caught in the first place.  Emily and Maya are too slick for that.

At this point, we get the pleasure of meeting Spencer’s older, pompous, bitch of a sister, Melissa.  Too judgmental?  Whoops, sorry about that.  Melissa pretty much walks outside, starts off with a condescending compliment about Spencer transforming the barn into a loft.  Then she stomps all over Spencer’s plan to move into that loft.  It doesn’t matter that Spencer’s parents promised it to her, she got the grades for it and worked hard at her internship for it; Melissa has a fiance and their a couple who NEED the private space.  Melissa’s fiance, Wren (Julian Morris), walks outside just in time to hear the end of the conversation between the sisters.  Melissa attempts at a guilt trip, whining that she had hoped Spencer would be happy for her.  Spencer retorts that hope breeds eternal misery and storms away.  Wren seems to feel bad for Spencer, but when he expresses this, Melissa brushes it off.  She assures him that Spencer will get over it and he shouldn’t worry about her.  Melissa clearly couldn’t care less about Spencer, so it makes sense that she wants her fiance to follow suit.  

Later in the evening, Spencer catches Wren sneaking a cigarette while she’s reading outside on the porch.  She makes a remark that Wren should know better because he’s a med student.  He calls her a smart ass, and Spencer decides that’s the nicest gesture any of Melissa’s boyfriends have ever made towards her.  According to Spencer, Wren is different from Melissa’s previous boyfriends because Spencer actually likes Wren.  That seems fair; Melissa likes Spencer’s loft and Spencer likes Melissa’s fiance.  They can both be home wreckers! 

The next day at school, Aria confronts Ezra, I mean Mr. Fitz, and claims that nothing between them has to change.  Ezra responds that the two of them cannot be together, but he doesn’t sound too convinced. Emily walks Maya home from school and they share this awkward kiss that’s somewhere in between a kiss on the lips and a kiss on the cheek.  What is going on?!  Then Emily goes to swim practice, where “A” has put a note in her locker that says “I’ve been replaced, you’ve found another friend to kiss!”  Just fantastic.  

Meanwhile, in the Hastings’ kitchen, Spencer sports a bikini and flirts with Wren.  She laments about the pain she has from field hockey, and “Dr. Wren,” med school student, insists that she must have “fluid in her bursa sac.”  Spencer jokes that Wren probably says that too all the girls, but she really hopes that he only talks to HER about fluid that way.  Wren, who is also wearing just a bathing suit (both of them had planned on going in the hot tub), gives Spencer a massage which she proclaims is awesome.  They hear Melissa coming in the kitchen, so Spencer jets outside to the hottub, and when Melissa asks, Wren claims he was not talking to anyone.  That’s cool, I like dating men who talk to themselves, too.  It’s a very good quality.  Right.

Aria’s parents have a conversation in which Byron acts unnecessarily sketchy.  Shut up about “things” coming in between your relationship with your wife.  She doesn’t suspect you of cheating yet!  Aria is keeping your secret!  Spencer hears Melissa and Wren talking and laughing and she looks out at them from her bedroom window.  BEEP.  Spencer has an incoming email from “A,” of course.  This is just normal.  The email reads, “poor Spencer, always wanting Melissa’s boyfriends… but remember, if you kiss, I tell.”  

It’s Spencer’s turn to have a flashback.  The girls (Ali included) are at Spencer’s house.  Ali rescues hefty Hanna from eating a cookie, because she’s just such a good friend.  Melissa and her boyfriend at the time, Ian (Ryan Merriman) walk in.  Ali blurts out that Spencer “needs to tell her sister,” but when Melissa inquires further, Spencer shrugs it off and says it’s nothing.  She then beckons Ali outside where the two of them argue.  Spencer insists that it was “just a kiss,” but Ali promises that Melissa will find out about this.  Again, she’s just such a good person and she wants to teach her friends to be just as good as she is.  Sure.  Spencer threatens Ali that if she says a word to Melissa, she will “tell everyone the truth about the Jenna thing.”  On that elusive note, we return to real time where Spencer looks out the window at Ali’s old house and thinks that she sees Ali walking around.  That’s not scary or anything.  Emily and Aria admit to each other that they’ve received notes from “A,” but the messages are too secret for either of them to reveal.

Hanna and her mother, Ashley Marin (Laura Leighton) attempt to eat dinner.  I say attempt because after a brief conversation about Aria, the two are interrupted by phone calls and the doorbell ringing.  Detective Darren Wilden (Bryce Johnson) is there to arrest Hanna for shoplifting.  I guess Mona was right, Hanna is SO busted!  Wilden handcuffs her and she and her mother go to the police station.  Hanna is about to grab a snack, but “A” sends her a warning, “careful Hanna! I hear prison food makes you fat.”  Ashley Marin goes into Wilden’s office and they close the door to have a super secret conversation.  Ashley exits the room and tells Hanna that they’re leaving and that Hanna will deny that she has done anything wrong.  After all, her mother is “taking care of it,” whatever that means.  

Suddenly, we hear sirens and see a crowd developing at Maya’s house.  The four girls are convinced that their friend Ali might still be alive and sending these anonymous notes, but that concept quickly becomes difficult.  The police have found Ali’s body in the backyard of what is now Maya’s house.  If she’s really dead, who is sending the girls these messages?

At her house, Hanna eats ice cream and watches the news on TV when she hears a scary noise.  It sounds like the house is getting robbed, but it’s just her mother and Wilden hooking up, pressed against the wall.  Does that mean that Ashley bribed Wilden for sex in exchange for him not arresting Hanna, or vice versa?  I’m pretty sure that’s not legal.  

Fourth Broken Law Alert!: Wilden and Ashley have both violated laws involving bribery.  According to Pennsylvania’s law against bribery in official and political matters :18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 4701(a)(3) in relevant part, A person is guilty of bribery, a felony of the third degree, if he offers, confers or agrees to confer upon another, or solicits, accepts or agrees to accept from another: any benefit as consideration for a violation of a known legal duty as public servant or party official.  According to legal definitions of bribery, one can be guilty for both, soliciting OR accepting a bribe, which would make Ashley and Wilden both guilty.  Penalty: felony of the third degree, maximum 7 years; $2,500-$15,000
Pennsylvania also follows the common law for police corruption, which is known as “a misuse of authority by a police officer for personal gain.”  The penalties for this vary, but Wilden definitely would no longer have a job on the police force if he gets caught for this.  
some is paraphrased. 

Ashley and Wilden are both completely screwed if anybody finds out about this, so let’s hope they can keep it a secret.

The girls, and seemingly the entire town of Rosewood including Mr. Fitz, show up at Ali’s funeral.  Maybe Aria was right about it being like a party; Hanna even has her flask with her in the front row of the church!  Aria and Ezra share a passionate kiss before the funeral begins.  His firm stance on not having a relationship with a student sure lasted a long time.


If a teacher has sex with a student of the school where he’s employed in Pennsylvania, it IS illegal.: 18 Pa. C.S. § 3124.2(a.2) – Institutional sexual assault (in relevant part) “a person who is a volunteer or an employee of a school or any other person who has direct contact with a student at a school commits a felony of the third degree when he engages in sexual intercourse, deviate sexual intercourse or indecent contact with a student of the school.”

Earlier in this post, when Ezra and Aria FIRST met, I stated that if they had sex it wouldn’t be illegal because the age of consent is 16 in Pennsylvania.  That was before we found out Ezra is Aria’s teacher.  Now that we know that, if they do have sex, it IS a crime.

•  I AM AWARE THAT AS OF NOW EZRA AND ARIA HAVE NOT HAD SEX.  Consider the above mentioned law a warning for this couple. I have yet to find a law regarding student-teacher relationships when the couple has not had sex, so THAT is good news for the Ezria fans for the time being.  However, student-teacher relationships of any kind are, as Alan from “The Hangover” would say, “frowned upon like masturbating on an airplane.”  Additionally, most schools have provisions in their employment contracts forbidding any such relationship, so, even though they have not had sex, if their relationship went public, Ezra would most likely get fired.

At the funeral, the girls finally all admit to receiving messages from “A.”  They discuss how big of a scene the funeral is and that Ali would have loved it because she’s “popular in life and death.”  Then all of them get creeped out when a mysterious blind girl named Jenna walks into the church.  The same Jenna from “the Jenna thing” which we know nothing about?! That’s the one. 

After the service, outside the church, Wilden approaches the four girls.  He explains in an eerie and suspicious tone that he needs to talk to all four of the girls because this is “no longer a missing person investigation; it’s a murder.”  This is starting to sound like a CSI episode, but “A” interrupts that nonsense.  All four girls get a text at the same time which says, “I’m still here bitches, and I know everything. -A.”  

Stay tuned for my entry about the next episode, where I investigate “The Jenna Thing” (and we finally learn what the hell the Jenna thing is).  

**EDIT TO ADD ANOTHER BROKEN LAW, IN RESPONSE TO A QUESTION FROM ONE OF MY READERS, NICOLE DELFS. Aria was in violation of the Pennsylvania liquor code when she went to a bar, sat at a bar area and was not accompanied with someone who would lawfully allow her to be seated there.  Please see the “potential broken law #2 alert” section in my entry on episode 5 of Pretty Little Liars, “Reality Bites Me,” for more information on this subject! **