Am I Really A Good Lawyer?!

Let’s Talk About Imposter Syndrome and Self Doubt

I always hear about these incredible attorneys who manage to win “impossible” cases on their clients behalf. The champions, the sharks, you know the type. I’ve read such stories with admiration, and I am now realizing, with a sense of subconscious jealousy and insecurity. I share this because I know with 100% certainty that I am nowhere near the only attorney or professional who has experienced such thoughts, and it can lead to unhealthy self-deprecation if left unaddressed.

Today I found that this sort of self doubt known as imposter syndrome not only was proving detrimental to mental wellness, but was wholly unwarranted. I received a case where a client had a complex fact pattern that unfortunately would make an appeal unsuccessful. I scoured every place I could think of to research and typed every variation of search terminology hoping to find a shred of case law or statutory citation that could change the outcome. I spoke with colleagues more experienced than I to confirm my line of thinking. After all of them confirmed, I still kept searching for something that could help. After a lot of hard work, I ended up finding a case with a claimant with the exact same fact pattern and the exact result I expected. 

I was shocked by the conflicting emotions that washed over me after finding the fact pattern I needed. I, of course, felt awful that I couldn’t provide the client with more promising news, but I also felt proud of myself. Finding a case with the exact facts instead of merely similar ones took a lot of work, and I don’t think a “bad” or “imposter” attorney could have done the same. Now I can help that client explore other options and prevent her, and other clients, from making similar mistakes in the future. The change in mindset taught me a very important lesson and I am sharing it as a reminder to all professionals who inevitably compare themselves to others and feel that they fall short. 

Years ago I would’ve had no idea where to begin in terms of even researching the case referenced in this article. Now I not only did so perfectly, but can advise my clients of alternative steps to take instead of having her possibly waste time on a frivolous appeal. Even though I couldn’t find a magic loophole to change her chances of succeeding the way she wanted, I am proud of myself for my hard work. 

By: Alyson Pi
September 14, 2020