The Silence Of E. Lamb, Where Is That Man? (Rhyming Recap of PLL 5×07)

As I mentioned, PLL did not have enough broken laws tonight for me to cover in a recap. When that happens, I do a creative type of recap instead. The following is a rhyming recap of  Pretty Little Liars episode 5×07, “The Silence of E. Lamb.” Stay tuned for a PLL criminal rap sheet coming up soon!

Mrs. Fields invites Ali and the girls to eat

But Em and Ali both have cold feet.

None of the girls really want to attend,

but they reluctantly agree in the end.

Ali’s nervous about hiding her bruises

She’s sick of all the fake excuses.

Sydney pops out of the bathroom stall,

The girls’ conversation, she heard it all!

To Alison, Sydney introduces herself

It seems like she knows her from somewhere else.

Sydney tells Emily about the dead rat in Paige’s locker–

For Emily this news is a shocker.

Emily thinks that Mona’s behind this,

But what a surprise– Mona denies this!

Hanna joins Caleb at an outdoor table

& asks why he’s reading a monster fable

From Caleb’s plate, Hanna takes food

Luckily Caleb doesn’t find this rude.

At Radley, Aria and Eddie Lamb meet

Then Big Rhonda calls Aria a thief

Rhonda is Bethany’s old roommate

Who’s very angry & loves to spew hate.

Aria took her painting and she wants it back

Rhonda seems prepared to attack.

Caleb meets Ali who’s very alarmed

‘Cause he’s not falling for her charm.

So Ali tells Hanna that she’s vexed

And Hanna sends Caleb an SOS text.

Caleb says things Hanna doesn’t want to hear about

Which brings Hanna to kick him and his beer out!

From Ezra, Spencer borrows a camera to spy

On Melissa to see what she has to hide.

Rhonda confronts Aria in the dark

And makes a very creepy remark

But Eddie Lamb interferes with Rhonda’s plan

To teach Aria a lesson and chop off her hands.

Aria steals Rhonda’s paintings again

And almost gets crushed by her heavy bed.

Eddie wants to know what Aria’s looking for

But she’s not telling… That’s for sure!

At dinner, Ali acts way too fake

It’s too much for drunk Hanna to take.

Hanna loudly expresses her doubt

Which causes Emily to kick her out.

Ali doesn’t want Hanna and Caleb together

But boss her around, Hanna won’t let her.

Aria and Spencer look at Bethany’s art, cover to cover

And find a painting she drew of Toby’s mother

And one of Mrs. D with devil horns

Hell hath no fury like Bethany scorned.

Sydney stops Hanna from going home trashed–

Mrs. Marin would have kicked Hanna’s ass!

Sydney asks Hanna questions — a bunch,

And Hanna answers a little too much.

Hanna and Caleb make up from their fight

With an “epic kiss” they finally reunite.

On her spy cam, Spencer sees Ali sneaking around

Wearing an A-type disguise as she roams through town.

Ali’s got secrets, and Hanna’s busy kissing

When Aria finds out that Eddie Lamb’s missing.

Spencer sends out an SOS

And shows the video to her guests

A texts the girls but excludes Hanna from the crowd

A says Ali has secrets ’cause Hanna’s too loud.

For reasons that I do not yet understand

A wedding invitation ends up in A’s hands.