Why People Don’t Speak Out About Mental Health… And Why We Still Have To
If we Exercise our Right to Remain Silent, the Stigma Wins
The other day someone made disparaging remarks in reaction to my recent blog posts about mental health. They were incredibly offensive, to the tune of “I can’t believe you brag about being mentally retarded and wonder why you can’t find a job.” I didn’t want to dignify his remarks with a response so this article is not for him. It’s for everyone who fears discussing mental health because of reactions like those. I also can’t allege that others who choose to speak out won’t experience similar disparaging commentary, but I can encourage them to keep talking anyway.
Let me first clarify that I do not use the aforementioned offensive terminology, but want to properly explain what happened. Someone waltzed onto my page and displayed the very epitome of why people hesitate to speak out about mental health issues. I have to admit, for a split second I thought about entertaining his viewpoint; maybe I had put myself out there a bit too much. Then a family member called agreeing with the posts. It felt like an invisible force was pulling me backwards to take away any of the strides in the right direction I had made. Then I got angry. Why should a person I’ve never even met before dictate my decision to speak out on an important topic? I couldn’t believe I had even considered deleting my blog for a split second.
Even worse, if this had happened last year, I think I may have allowed myself to get pushed into silence. Not anymore. Not even when people write to me in caps lock that no one wants to hire a lawyer who discusses mental health issues. I started advocating to smash the mental health stigma because I saw an injustice and wanted to do something about it. That something was definitely not shutting my mouth and deleting my blog because some people think that’s the politically correct idea that will land me a job. I have no desire to work with anyone who wouldn’t hire me because of this viewpoint anyway.
More importantly, my disappointment with my own knee jerk reaction to these comments got me thinking about others who speak out about mental health. What if anytime any advocate got negative comments, they stopped talking? Nothing would ever change; the stigma would strengthen and remain a continuous burden. This incident caused an entire stream of consciousness for me. I wondered if I was doing enough. Was I truly speaking out or was I simply encouraging others to do it for me under the guise of spilling my guts? I decided I would immediately provide at least one example of a mental health issue I still face to this day to combat that potential problem. For me, when I think about my to-do list, sometimes I get so unimaginably anxious that I end up unable to sleep or think clearly. I’ve learned this about myself and am able to curb it to the point I always complete tasks and meet my deadlines, but until that happens, it always feels to me internally like I am in danger of failing. That’s not fun to talk about and it’s not the attribute about myself that makes me the most proud. But if I don’t admit it then why should anyone else feel comfortable admitting to similar issues about themselves?
If every mental health advocate adhered to trolls and deleted their content and silenced their voices, the stigma would continue indefinitely. I’m tired of people asking me if I’m embarrassed to discuss these topics because I’m a lawyer. Any obstacle with mental health I’ve faced has motivated to me work harder. Sometimes I prefer working remotely; that’s the only marginal effect I’ve ever experienced in terms of my work as an attorney. I refuse to feel ashamed for speaking my mind about an important issue that plagues many. I’m proud of myself for overcoming burdensome obstacles and still working towards my goals. By continuing with my articles, I hope to inspire others to do the same. The person who left me those rude comments personifies the fear that comes with talking about mental health. Let’s not let that fear prevail.
Feel free to comment with similar stories you may have about someone trying to shut you up. And definitely don’t listen to people like that.
By: Alyson Pi
August 10, 2020