This episode begins with a police car in front of Hanna’s house, and Hanna’s mother scolding her that she never wanted to see another police car in front of their house. She can’t sleep Hanna’s way out of this one; Wilden’s too creepy, the other guys on the police force aren’t too attractive, AND some might frown upon such behavior as bad parenting. Hanna doesn’t see why any of this is such a big deal; it’s not like she destroyed the car, she just damaged it!
The girls shockingly meet up at a park in broad daylight, breaking the routine of their death trap meetings in the woods. They discuss the memorial they plan on making for Ali, which will include a bench and art tiles, or little tombstones if you ask Hanna. Hanna no longer wants the tremendous responsibility that comes with possessing Ali’s bracelet, so Spencer takes it from her. Spencer comes up with the idea to block all anonymous incoming messages from any means of communication. “Screw ‘A’!” she proclaims. The girls follow her in this decision. While the girls take turns using Spencer’s computer to block anonymous messages, Spencer spies, with her little eye, Mr. Fitz riding his bike past the park. Aria is humiliated as her friends loudly admire her secret, teacher boyfriend’s legs. In any event, the girls are relieved about blocking “A” from contacting them for all of two seconds, when the wind carries over one of the flyers from when Ali went missing. It says “Ding, dong the bitch is dead!” This clever little homage to “The Wizard of Oz” reminds the girls that there is no app to block flying pieces of paper from reaching them.
At school, Maya gives Emily a scarf as a present. She briefly wears it, but gets embarrassed when her friends ask her about it. She lies and says that the scarf isn’t new. Hanna’s father, Tom, calls her and asks her to have dinner with him at 7:00. Hanna has not seen Tom since he walked out on her family. Emily bumps into Toby and the girls freak out that they just “bumped into ‘A’.” They decide that it would be best for them to continue to avoid Toby and Jenna.
Aria goes into Ezra’s classroom to discuss the bike incident. She informs him that her friends think that he has nice legs, but he wants to know what Aria thinks of his legs. Evidently she didn’t make her attraction to Ezra and his legs clear enough during their hookup at the bar. They decide to discuss the circumstances of their relationship over dinner at 7:00. Apparently all awkward dinners in Rosewood take place at 7:00.
In the hallway, Spencer’s history teacher approaches the girls and announces that he has submitted Spencer’s plagiarized essay to the Golden Orchid competition. Hanna makes a joke about Spencer’s academic bling, but Spencer remains uneasy about the essay being entered into a contest.
Emily stashes her new scarf into her locker like she’s on Real Hoarders of Rosewood and if the scarf comes out of the locker, then she comes out of the closet. Once she’s ditched the scarf, she goes to her chemistry class to find that Toby Cavanaugh is joining the class–and he already noticed that she had been wearing a scarf earlier. Wow, he’s an observant one. He thought the scarf looked good on Emily; Emily wants to pretend that the scarf and Toby both do not exist. Unfortunately for her, Toby does exist, and not only did he see her scarf, but he is also her new lab partner. Emily opens her chemistry book only to find that someone has strategically placed the pictures of her kissing Maya in between the pages. She furiously slams the book shut; hiding the scarf in her locker was supposed to guarantee that nobody found out about her attraction to women!
Meanwhile, at Aria’s house, Ella is cooking dinner that Aria won’t be eating, because she has dinner plans at 7:00. This means that her parents have the house to themselves. Aria has a flashback to the day that she and Ali caught Byron cheating. In this version of the flashback, we become privy to more information; Ali insisted that Aria tell Ella what Byron did immediately. She animatedly pleaded with Aria, telling her that if she didn’t tell her mother what happened, somebody else would, then she’d lose both of them. In present time, Aria is building up confidence. She knows that she has to tell her mom, she knows that Ali was right and it seems as if the time has come. “Mom?” she sputters. We’re met with a suspenseful LONG… PAUSE… before Aria continues, “Can I have a carrot?” A carrot?!? Seriously? What a fake out!
Spencer helps Hanna choose an outfit for her dinner with her father. Spencer also confides in Hanna about stealing Melissa’s essay. At first, Hanna doesn’t understand why Spencer is so certain that she is going to win the contest, but then she remembers that the Hastings family uses the #winning hashtag more frequently than Charlie Sheen and all of his twitter followers.
Emily confronts Maya about the pictures and asks her if she was the one who put them in the chemistry book. Maya doesn’t care if people know that she likes girls; they look hot in those pictures! When she realizes how anxious Emily is about the situation, Maya angrily returns to work, leaving Emily to go back to hiding in the closet.
At Hanna’s house, her father arrives to pick her up for dinner. As he remarks that there is barely enough left of Hanna to hug, he notices that Ashley has gotten dressed up for the occasion as well. She thought that she was invited to this dinner too, but Tom clears up the misunderstanding. Ashley acts like she doesn’t care that her ex husband doesn’t want to take her out on a date, but as soon as he leaves with Hanna, Ashley hurls her earring onto a table. Hanna and Tom head to Jolly Rogers, a local amusement park.
It’s also time for Aria to go to Ezra’s apartment for what is supposed to be a pleasant dinner. Instead, Aria brings up her parents, and Ezra suggests that they have some sort of agreement where they don’t care if they cheat on each other. He explains that Aria’s parents need to work out their issues as adults. Aria takes this to mean that Ezra thinks that she is a child, and to prove him wrong, she throws a tantrum and storms out of his apartment.
The following day, Hanna tells her friends about her night with her father. They went to an amusement park, but it’s not like she went on the tilt-a-whirl, so it’s not lame. Her father wants to take her for a “real dinner” tonight. I guess last night was fake dinner.
In the classroom, Ezra’s lesson plan is to use “To Kill A Mockingbird” to publicly humiliate Aria and yell at any student who disagrees with her opinion. Mr. Sperling is still hiding from Ezra for fear of another English Teacher Attack. Since Mr. Sperling has a different view than Aria’s, Ezra broadcasts to the class that he clearly had made no effort to read the book, and Aria had, since she’s a model student.
After class, we see Toby opening his locker to retrieve his books. Instead, he is met with a mound of shaving cream pouring out of his locker and a group of laughing boys behind him. Between Ezra’s teaching methods and the behavior displayed by these boys, it’s clearly Maturity Day at Rosewood High. The immature boys bring us to (finally):
Broken Law # 1 Alert! : Harassment (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 2709
“(a) Offense defined.–A person commits the crime of harassment when, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm another, the person: (1) … subjects the other person to physical contact, or attempts or threatens to do the same…”
I will interject here to explain that physical contact need not be direct, it can be done through a medium, shaving cream included.
” Grading.– (1) An offense under subsection (a)(1)… shall constitute a summary offense.”
Additionally, in light of the bullying epidemic, states including Pennsylvania have implemented laws against bullying, leading us to:
Broken Law # 2 Alert! : Pennsylvania Tit. No. 24 Pa. Cons. Stat.
Ann. §13-1303. 1-A.
“Bullying: intentional electronic, written, verbal or physical act, or series of acts: (1) directed at another
student(s); (2) which occurs in school setting; (3) that is severe, persistent or pervasive; AND (4) has the effect of: (i) substantially interfering with student‟s education; (ii) creating a threatening environment; or (iii) substantially disrupting the orderly operation of the school. “School setting:” in school, on school grounds, in school vehicles, at school bus stop, or at school activity. School entity may define bullying to encompass acts occurring outside the school setting if the definition meets (1), (3) and (4).”
Most state schools have their own policies in terms of punishment for bullying. Without spoiling too much, in a later episode of Pretty Little Liars, we learn that Rosewood has a zero tolerance for bullying, and behavior like this could get somebody suspended or expelled.
Next, it’s time for Hanna’s “real dinner” with her father. It turns out, Hanna is not the only person Tom invited to Real Dinner. Within approximately two minutes of arriving at the restaurant, Tom introduces Hanna to Isabel, the woman for whom he left Hanna’s mother. Isabel has a daughter named Kate, also present at dinner, and here’s the best part: Isabel is no longer just Tom’s girlfriend, but his fiancee. Surprise!
At the Hastings household, Spencer hears another one of this TV show’s infamous terrifying noises. Someone is inside her house. She grabs a knife, ready to stab this intruder. Before she has to hurt anyone, she is greeted by a slurring, but familiar sounding british accent. “Where the hell are you?!” Wren demands. He spent his night getting drunk, driving to Spencer’s house, embarking on a scavenger hunt for the front door of the house, failing to find the front door, and eventually breaking in the house through the back door. He did all of this all because he wanted Spencer to “summon her father” so that he could clear her name and tell Mr. Hastings “what really happened.” In my book, what happened is that they kissed, and they are both to blame, but for some reason Spencer does not see it that way.
Wren’s behavior tonight does not comply with Pennsylvania’s laws. I’ll start by explaining that while he broke into the Hastings’ house, he is not guilty of burglary, because to be guilty of burglary, he would have had to go inside with the intent to commit a separate crime inside. To my knowledge, he did not have the requisite intent. But he is still guilty of something:
Broken Law # 3 Alert! : Criminal trespass (in relevant part) – 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. § 3503: “(a) Buildings and occupied structures.— (1) A person commits an offense if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged to do so, he: (i) enters, gains entry by subterfuge or surreptitiously remains in any building or occupied structure or separately secured or occupied portion thereof; or (ii) breaks into any building or occupied structure or separately secured or occupied portion thereof.
(2) An offense under paragraph (1)(i) is a felony of the third degree, and an offense under paragraph (1)(ii) is a felony of the second degree (b) Defiant trespasser.– (1) A person commits an offense if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged to do so, he enters or remains in any place as to which notice against trespass is given by: (i) actual communication to the actor; … (v) actual communication to the actor to leave.”
(2) Except as provided in paragraph (1)(v), an offense under this subsection constitutes a misdemeanor of the third degree if the offender defies an order to leave personally communicated to him by the owner of the premises or other authorized person. An offense under paragraph (1)(v) constitutes a misdemeanor of the first degree. Otherwise it is a summary offense.”
While Spencer DID firmly tell Wren to leave in the beginning, her softening up and allowing Wren to stay and sober up would likely make this a summary offense rather than a misdemeanor.
Additionally, we learn that Wren drove to the Hastings’ house while in an intoxicated enough state to be unable to locate the front door of the house, speak properly, or walk in anything resembling a straight line. Spencer later confiscates Wren’s keys and drives his car for him, which is how we learn that he has driven drunk, a fact that brings us to:
Broken Law # 4 Alert! Pa. C.S. § 3802. Driving under influence of alcohol or controlled substance. (in relevant part) : “(a) General impairment.–
(1) An individual may not drive, operate or be in actual physical control of the movement of a vehicle after imbibing a sufficient amount of alcohol such that the individual is rendered incapable of safely driving, operating or being in actual physical control of the movement of the vehicle.
(2) An individual may not drive, operate or be in actual physical control of the movement of a vehicle after imbibing a sufficient amount of alcohol such that the alcohol concentration in the individual’s blood or breath is at least 0.08% but less than 0.10% within two hours after the individual has driven, operated or been in actual physical control of the movement of the vehicle.
(b) High rate of alcohol.–An individual may not drive, operate or be in actual physical control of the movement of a vehicle after imbibing a sufficient amount of alcohol such that the alcohol concentration in the individual’s blood or breath is at least 0.10% but less than 0.16% within two hours after the individual has driven, operated or been in actual physical control of the movement of the vehicle…”
§ 3803. Grading.
(a) Basic offenses.–Notwithstanding the provisions of subsection (b):
(1) An individual who violates section 3802(a) (relating to driving under influence of alcohol or controlled substance) and has no more than one prior offense commits a misdemeanor for which the individual may be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of not more than six months and to pay a fine under section 3804 (relating to penalties).
(b) Other offenses.–
(1) An individual who violates… section 3802(b)… and who has no more than one prior offense commits a misdemeanor for which the individual may be sentenced to a term of imprisonment of not more than six months and to pay a fine under section 3804.”
(Nobody tested Wren’s BAC, but I believe it’s possible that he could fall into the “high rate of alcohol” subsection. If not, he definitely at least falls into “general impairment”).
§ 3804. Penalties.
“(a) General impairment.–… an individual who violates section 3802(a) (relating to driving under influence of alcohol or controlled substance) shall be sentenced as follows:(1) For a first offense, to:
(i) undergo a mandatory minimum term of six months’ probation; (ii) pay a fine of $300;
iii) attend an alcohol highway safety school approved by the department; and (iv) comply with all drug and alcohol treatment requirements.”
“(b) High rate of blood alcohol: … an individual who violates section 3802(b) hall be sentenced as follows: (1) For a first offense, to: (i) undergo imprisonment of not less than 48 consecutive hours; (ii) pay a fine of not less than $500 nor more than $5,000; (iii) attend an alcohol highway safety school approved by the department; and (iv) comply with all drug and alcohol treatment requirements.”
Don’t drink and drive!
While Wren is breaking the law and causing chaos, Aria bursts into Ezra’s apartment and explodes at Ezra for his ridiculous “To Kill A Mockingbird” lesson. She tells him that if he was trying to teach her a lesson, she definitely does NOT need that from him. In his defense, he IS her teacher and it’s his job to teach lessons, but I get her point.
Spencer confiscates Wren’s keys and drives him to the hotel where he is staying. At Hanna’s dinner, Kate tells a boring sailing story that would put sailing enthusiasts all over the world to sleep. Hanna’s dad informs her that she’ll be paying for the damage to Sean’s car by working at his mother’s office. She’s a dentist, and Hanna is suddenly fascinated by dentistry and plaque. This invigorating conversation is interrupted by an SOS text from Spencer, who needs Hanna to pick her up from her sister’s ex fiance’s hotel room. That’s completely normal.
Emily runs into Toby while she’s throwing the pictures of her and Maya in the garbage. They bond over the fact that they live in a town filled with idiots. Toby actually seems pretty nice in this scene. Ezra “makes really good leftovers” and he apologizes to Aria over a gourmet leftover meal. Aria decides she has to tell her mother the truth about her father’s affair.
As Spencer drops Wren off at his hotel room, they kiss, despite the fact that Spencer feels SO bad about their first kiss and she never wanted to hurt Melissa. Hanna watches this from the car, but is distracted when her “BFF, ‘A'” dedicates the song “I don’t need you anymore” to her on the radio.
Emily and Maya talk. Emily needs time and space and Maya is willing to wait for her. Aria goes home to speak to her mother, but “A” has already sent Ella a typewritten note about Byron’s affair. Spencer and Hanna return to Spencer’s house, where Spencer can tell someone has been inside because the mess Wren made before has been cleaned up. She barrels up the stairs immediately assuming thats somebody broke in to steal Alison’s bracelet, rather than the myriad of expensive items in the Hastings household. Ali’s bracelet is still in Spencer’s drawer, and there is a terrifying note written on her bedroom mirror. It says “It won’t be that easy bitches! -A” The scariest part about this is that the note is written in JUNGLE RED, Alison’s signature lipstick color. It looks like blocking electronic messages from “A” was not the best idea after all.
PS: For a second there I wasn’t sure if I’d have enough material for this entry, so I’d like to thank Wren (Julian Morris) for his presence in this episode.
In these early episodes it really did seem like Alison was genuinely tries to get her friends to do the right thing, about all their individual secret (But not about any that implicate her obviously) as though she didn't want them to become like her. I miss that added complication to Ali's character.
I agree! I just saw this comment now, so I apologize for not answering sooner.